


On the Outside, Looking In

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Because Fuck You That Brotp Deserved Better, Brendol Hux's A+ Parenting, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Forced to Watch, Forced to hurt somebody, Implied/Referenced Torture, Leia Organa Deserves Better, M/M, Mass Murder, Mentioned Brendol Hux, POV Outsider, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-Con By Other Parties, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Propaganda, Rey & Poe Dameron Friendship, Space Mom Leia Organa, by Kylo and others
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:53:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25163449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Outsider POVs on Darkpilot.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Poe Dameron/Kylo Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17
Collections: The Darkpilot Library





	1. Poe’s Capture (Leia)

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: First chapter is loosely based on a TFA deleted scene.

It’s when Leia’s alone that she manages to collect her thoughts. The report on the Jakku mission has left her with a lot to unpack. The village of Tuanul, all but wiped out. 

She still can’t believe Ben did this. Ben. Her Ben. The boy who she raised. The boy who saved blue butterflies once. The boy who practically saw Poe as the center of his universe. 

And Poe...

Poe’s in his custody. She knows what happens in First Order custody. Kalonia’s treated some of them. Ben doesn’t do anything physical, but Leia knows some of the unlucky ones have been raped by First Order officers. (And they accuse the Resistance of being rapists. Leia doesn’t know why anyone can have such a lack of self-awareness, such a lack of understanding) She’s watched as Kalonia’s returned from her job, angry, lost — she’s treated the physical injuries but she has no idea how to treat the emotional ones. No idea how to treat the pain and shame. 

And even without the rapes, there’s other stuff. Torture. Mental invasion. (She remembers how eerie it was to just know Ben knew what she was thinking. She never thought that it would be weaponized)

Leia closes her eyes. Maybe there’s a sliver of a chance that her son will show Poe mercy. Back when he was Ben Solo

 _is he still_?

he loved Poe. Was fiercely protective of him. She remembers him all but prowling in front of Poe on the playground, ready to defend Poe with everything he had. A cub who fancied himself a defender. 

Surely, he wouldn’t harm Poe. Surely, he wouldn’t allow others to. Surely, just this once, he’ll be gentle with Poe...

 _Force, please protect them both. My son and Poe_...

She’s forced to listen to Poe’s torture, to hear the self-loathing her son feels over what Snoke’s making him do, and she wishes that she had been enough. 


	2. Hate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia and Poe, after the Finalizer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

It’s when Poe arrives back at the Resistance Base that Leia actually gets to hear what Poe went through for himself, and her heart breaks. It’s one thing to hear what Poe went through (like Snoke was forcing her to listen to her son hurt her protégé); it’s another to actually hear it from Poe’s own lips. 

”I never thought I’d hate someone,” Poe says. “But stang — I almost want to.”

Leia doesn’t know what to say. What can she say, in the end? She wonders if that was another purpose of the torture — to plant the seeds of hate in her most daring pilot’s heart where there were previously almost none. 

She hugs him, even as he has a panic attack into her chest. She doesn’t tell him the truth, not yet; she knows it will destroy him. It will take his idealism and shatter it into multiple pieces without so much as a warning. 

It would be like if Han was forced to torture her on Bespin. She can’t tell Poe the truth because...

Stars, Poe is a good man. A profoundly kind man with a smile that could outshine a sun and a heart incredibly big. Leia wishes she had the power to mend Poe’s heart right then and there. For now, she does what she can to comfort him, and quietly thanks the Force for the man named Finn who brought Poe back safe.


	3. Hidden Vulnerabilities (Hux)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux learns about Poe pre-Jakku.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Snuck in a reference to how parts of the fandom seem to think Han and Leia were bad parents for fuck-knows-what reason. I figured I’d at least make fun of it.

Hux knew, of course, that Kylo Ren was Ben Solo. 

It was a more private secret, kept among those higher up in Snoke’s ranks, but Hux knew. It was enough to fuel his contempt for Kylo Ren; the man was nothing more than a pretender, a spoiled child who had everything and chose to throw it away in a fit of puerile pique. 

Someone who thought dressing up as his grandfather would be fun, really...

But there was something about the way Ren seemed to go still when he saw the latest report of Commander Poe Dameron’s mission. The way his breathing seemed to hitch...

”He mean something to you, Ren?” Hux said. “Someone else you threw away in a fit of pique?"

”You think you know so much about me,” Ren said. “About him.”

”I can put the pieces together,” Hux said. “You have a talent for destroying things...and I don’t just mean your little tantrums."

He could wind up Ren without consequences. It was fine. It wasn’t like Ren had been abused; some in the First Order knowledgeable about Ren’s heritage had suggested spreading propaganda that suggested General Solo and General Organa were abusive. “Everyone loves any excuse to pardon the troubled bad boy of his actions,” one of them said. 

Of course it had made Hux angry. His father actually had been abusive. His father had actually hated him. Ren...what was the worst he’d gone through? Having to go to school? Oh, how terrible for that spoiled Rebel whelp, Hux thought sarcastically. How could anyone comprehend the depths of his pain?

”I think,” Kylo said coldly, “You’ve taken this rivalry far enough for today, General.”

He left. Hux knew he’d touched a nerve, though he doubted he knew how. 


	4. Two Sides (Rey)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey talks with Poe after returning from Tatooine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

“You never really told us, you know. About you...running spice.” Rey sat across from Poe, in one of the rare breaks he got from looking over paperwork. "There was a lot that you didn’t tell us." 

Poe sighed. “I don’t just tell my life story to anyone. And...for the longest time, I was ashamed of it.”

”Ashamed?” Rey scoffed. “You accepted Finn. You accepted Zorii."

”True. But I was ashamed. Best I can say, Rey...” Poe took a deep breath. “When I was eight years old, my mom died in a speeder accident. The kriffed up thing is that it was actually Ben, before he became Kylo, who was there for me. He was five.”

Rey’s eyes widened. “I think he mentioned you."

”Did he?” Poe sounded bitter. Rey doubted she had ever heard him sound so hurt. 

“It was obvious.” Rey remembered the trip on the Falcon, all the way away from Crait. How Kylo had appeared and asked her about Poe. She had been angry then, disappointed in him, but she hadn’t caught much of the cues when he spoke of Poe. 

Now she remembered. His voice going softer. His eye, twitching if only momentarily. Now she knew why. 

”It was obvious he felt something for you,” Rey said. “And I could feel him...when he died,” and here, she knew that Poe was already flinching, and she felt awful for it. "He thought of you. How sorry he was. How much he cared about you.”

Poe nodded. "Maybe I am naive, but...you were there. I believe you.” Then, “Were you — ”

“He’s my cousin, actually,” Rey said. “Thanks to Palpatine’s...experiments regarding Anakin,” and she felt a pang of outraged sorrow for Shmi Skywalker, “The Skywalker family tree is tangled. Anakin’s my uncle, Luke and Leia...were my cousins, and so was Ben.”

”Oh.” Then, “You know, I remember overhearing something about — ”

“Poe Dameron, don’t try and comfort me,” Rey groaned. “You’re usually good at it, but now is not one of these times.” Then, “It was why I took on that name. Rey Skywalker. As far as I know, that’s my true family.” A beat. “I think if my father and mother had lived, they would have taken on that name too.”

”That would have been great,” Poe said. Then, “But yeah, Ben...he actually reassured me that my mother was still out there. In the Force. I know that when he was a kid, he would have done anything for me. I still don’t know why.”

Rey bit her lip. In her mind, she could see the two of them — two small younglings with curly black hair, playing pilot and Jedi. She wondered how Poe stood to have a conversation with her considering her grandfather had been responsible for Poe all but losing everything. 

”I’m sorry,” she said. “I...”

”I’m not blaming you for his death,” Poe said. “Just to get that out of the way. I may be,” and here, he smiled faintly, “Impulsive, reckless, and the last thing the Resistance needs, but I’m not enough of a monster to say you should have died and he should have lived. And it’s not your fault you...were a Palpatine. That bastard may have been your grandfather, but he ain’t your grandpa.”

Rey swore, in that moment, that she saw the same man that Ben Solo had all but worshipped. The man who had seen the good in Finn when Finn couldn’t see it in himself. 

”I know.” Despite herself, Rey felt a sort of warmth in her heart that she didn’t think she’d feel. What had Maz said, about the belonging she sought not being behind, but ahead? She had found it. With the Resistance. 

She wished she hadn’t lost her whole family in the process. 

”Tell me more about Ben.” _My family_. “I want to know everything.”

Poe spoke. Talked about Ben — the good times and the rough. The last meeting Poe had with him, before Exegol when Kylo had let him go. The seeds of redemption, brought into full bloom by his family. Because in the end, it had always been about Ben’s family. 

In the end, Ben’s family had saved him. 

”He sounds like he was a good man,” Rey said. 

Poe nodded. Then, “Was he at peace, in the end? Did it hurt?”

Rey thought back to the Temple on Exegol. The wavering expression on Ben’s face as he succumbed to exhaustion — but also the overwhelming sense of peace Rey felt as his demons were put to rest. Sacrifice wasn’t suicide. Ben had been at peace, knowing that he had done one thing right in his last moments. 

Rey only wished that Poe had gotten to see him again. That she had gotten to know her cousin better. Known the man beyond Kylo Ren. 

”It didn’t hurt,” Rey said. “And he loved you, Poe. I know he loved you.”

Their hands touched then, a brief moment of kinship between two people who had known and cared for two different sides of Ben Solo. 


End file.
